A friend loves at ALL times...

(Note: I’m sorry it’s been a long time between entries. Being the brilliant one that I am, I decided to sign up for an accelerated writing class as my first ‘real’ college class at Bowling Green State University. A sixteen week class compressed into five weeks.
Brilliant, Peg…simply brilliant.
Needless to say, it has been an adjustment. Thank you for your patience!)

I want to dedicate this entry to my best friend, Terry Webb.


A friend loves at all times, and a (sister) is born for adversity.
(Proverbs 17:17, NKJV)

Terry Webb is my best friend. I was just sitting here thinking about our friendship and trying to figure out how to describe it. I’m having a hard time. She tells people that I am one of the biggest influences on her life. I would have to say the same about you, Terry.


Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary (www.m-w.com) defines ‘friend’ as “one attached to another by affection or esteem; one that is not hostile; a favored companion”.


That just doesn’t seem good enough or fitting enough for me.


I met Terry about 14 years ago. She and two of her kids (Rocky and Ashlea) came to the church. I don’t remember seeing Terry that first day, but I do remember seeing Rocky and Ashlea. They were both sitting in the nursery before church started, and Rocky looked mad as mad could be about being there. I digress…


I invited Terry to come with me to a ministry conference in Michigan. You really get to know someone when you spend three days and three nights with them. What happened in Michigan, stays in Michigan! But little did I know it was the beginning of more than a friendship. It is not merely a camaraderie, but a covenantal bond that can’t be broken. She is a gift of God to me that is far beyond the ability to put a price tag upon. Terry will tell you that she feels as if she was destined to be my friend. I believe it.


There are so few examples of unconditional love in the world today. Even in the church, where it should be the norm. Terry is a case study of unconditional love. (Don’t worry – we aren’t gay! So stop it!). I truly believe that there is absolutely nothing I could do or say that would jeopardize our friendship. I am free to be me – whether I’m at my worst, or at my best. It is safe for me to have a bad day around Terry. It is safe for me to say exactly how I feel. It is safe for me to cry or pout or laugh or celebrate the good things that have happened in my life. It is safe for me to share my frustration – whether it is justified or not. It is safe for me to share my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my secrets. I know the thoughts of my heart are safe with my best friend. Even if I’m having a bad day, and being a grouch or just being stupid, she doesn’t get her nose out of joint and get all huffy about it. She just turns up the love. She asks me what’s wrong, and truly wants to know. I know it’s ok for me to be unreasonable around her, because I know that she knows my heart.


God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7, Message Bible)


I can count on the fact that no matter what I do or say, Terry knows my heart. She has made an effort to know my heart. She remembers my heart . If I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing, she remembers my heart. I don’t have to walk on eggshells around her. I don’t have to pick and choose the right words around her. Because she has this uncanny ability to look beyond the ‘tone’ or presence (or absence) of facial expressions or actions (or inactions) and know my heart.


I want to be like Terry in that way.


She doesn’t expect me to be something that I’m not. I’m not the frilly-willy-nilly type. She doesn’t try to make me be that way. Even though she’s a Mary Kay lady. I’m not the syrupy-sweet type. She doesn’t try to make me be like that, either. She accepts me the way that I am. She understands my strong points. She sees my weak points. But her love for me isn’t contingent on what I do. It is contingent on who I am.

It's not that we are alike, because we are very different. It's not that we agree on everything or have the same views about everything either, because we don't. Sometimes I wonder what in the world is she thinking! But that doesn't change the fact that she loves me and accepts me.

I will be the first one to admit that I have glaring weaknesses. If you want to find something to criticize me about, you don’t have to look very far. Believe me, this frustrates me FAR more than it frustrates anyone! When I’m beating myself up over my seemingly constant shortcomings, Terry is the first one to pick me up, dust me off, and tell me how valuable I am to her, and to God.


In this, Terry, you have preached the Gospel to me. You are one of the greatest preachers I know.


I have a few other friends like Terry, but not many.


It’s funny how people find it so easy to point fingers and get offended and list out other people’s faults. When all goes right, they are for you. When it's not going the greatest, then you become disposable. Why does it have to be that way?


Here is what you can expect from me: I won’t always say the right things, in the right way. I won’t always do the right things at the right time. I won’t always pick up on your hints, I won’t always see what to you may be ‘the obvious’. I’m quite sure that I will never fit the package that most people expect me to be. If you compare me with somebody else or have an idea in your mind of what you think I should be, I can guarantee you I’ll probably fall short.


But know this: if you call me, I’ll answer. If you need me, I’ll be there. If you are walking through tragedy, I won’t let you walk through it alone. I’ll pray for you. If you need it and I have it, then I’ll share it with you. If you need me to be something I’m not, then you’ll probably be disappointed. But I will say this: all that I am, and all that I can be, I’m willing to give you.



If you didn't know my heart before, you know it now.


I’ve made a decision that I’m no longer going to allow myself to be pressured to be something I’m not. I’m not going to let my heart be broken over people who can’t accept me for who I am, because those people honestly don’t love me anyway. I am who I am, in all of my imperfect glory, with all of my shortcomings, and with a HUGE heart to try to be better.


You just have to know my heart.


If that’s not good enough, then I don’t know what I can say except for it makes me sad.


As for you, Terry, thank you for being my friend, and for loving me. You have changed me and blessed me in so many ways. Thank you for being Jesus to me.